What the fuck, America?

First of all, I want to start by saying: Hillary Clinton, you crazy bitch, take your penis, and Bill, and give the hell up already.

There, now, the real topic at hand. I’ve always been a firm believer in not watching or reading the news because it’s fucking depressing. As I was struggling to think of a topic to expound upon today, I turned to good ol’ internet news for the inspirado. Lo and behold, I was granted a muse in the form of one more fucked up thing wrong with our species.

It appears that the Iraqis are using adorable little puppies in their warfare now. And thank God this Marine was able to withstand its cuteness in order to defend our country.

I’m a big animal person. I feel bad killing bugs. Or even killing animals in video games. But, more than just an animal person, I’m a dog person. So much so that the canine is my spirit animal. So, when I see this I’m more than a little disgusted.

Devil’s Advocate first. Okay, (for the record, the word “okay” just became underlined in red, meaning my computer’s telling me it’s misspelled. Beg pardon? When did this happen?). Okay, so we don’t actually know if the puppy’s real. It doesn’t move on the camera. There is a whimpering, but that could be dubbed in by anyone with two shits of knowledge and a computer with Windows Movie Maker. And it appears that these Marines just pass the two shit mark. Also, another view point I’ve seen, I did a little research on the youtube, is that some people see this as being blown out of proportion. We’re so desensitized to violence that people are dying all the time and yet we’re making a stink about a singular puppy? Or how about the fact that the soldiers are exposed to such horrific things that they don’t even think twice about chucking a puppy from a cliff?

Now, my turn. First of all, before we come up with any excuses, what about the fact that maybe this guy is just plain ol’ fucked up? You read that shit in the newspapers all the time. Some dude locks his daughter in the basement and feeds her only jam until she goes bat shit. Some chick decides that her cats would really love to be strapped to the hood of her car and run through a car wash. Y’know, crazy shit like that. Why not, eh?

Aside from traumatic mental damage, what the hell would possess someone to not only do that, but record it too?! And don’t forget it was three guys. That greatly decreases the “he’s just fucked up” theory, doesn’t it? I doubt that those three guys were all just messed and happened to be in the same unit.

At the mess tent one morning, over a bowl of cold oatmeal, one mumbles “Man, I could really go for throwing a puppy off of a cliff and recording it. But, gee, I don’t have a puppy or a camera. Shucks.”
Corporal Fuckhead steps up: “I have a puppy!”
Lieutenant Assface chimes in: “I have a camera!”
Sergeant Dickweed yells: “Let’s go!”
They all stand up, push back their chairs: “Go Team Douchebag!” And they take off.
I think that may be how it happened.

In regards to the reality of the situation, it doesn’t make a whole lot of a difference if the pup was real or not. I mean, yeah, it’s way worse if it was, but there’s no real way to know at this point, and what sort of sick, grotesque jollies are you getting from pretending to throw a puppy into a ravine? Did you rub one out behind a rock after you shot the video? Is that what this is all about? Necrobestialphilia?

I really have no defense against the argument that they’re all so fucked up that this is alright for them to do. I mean, I guess if that’s the case, that’s the case. It’s like people being too shell-shocked to exist in normal society, ’cause anything resemblant to a gunshot or a bomb blast will make them flip their shit. Maybe these Marines are pup-shocked. In which case they clearly can’t be exposed to regular society until they’ve been properly treated. ‘Less, as he’s walking down the street, one spots a puppy, scoops it up and heads for the nearest precipice.

However, I do want to argue the “desensitized to violence – people are dying – it’s only a puppy” argument. You people are fucked up. We are the “superior” species, aren’t we? Supposedly? Yes, people are dying. They’re dying in an army that they signed up for. Not necessarily for a cause that they believe in, but last I knew, no one was forced into the draft in a few years, meaning they had the choice. That being said, they’re being killed by other humans. It’s a matter of defense. This puppy did not enlist. This puppy did not defend. This puppy did not attack. If you ask me, a dude hucking a puppy off of a cliff is far more violent than automatic gun fire tearing a hole in your gut or a grenade ripping your leg off or a bouncing betty taking your cajones off. So, shouldn’t the “superior” species not kill for fun? Sometimes I think the world’d be a better place if we all just crawled back into that miasma we slurped out from and just left it to the smarter animals.

And, pardon me for being so skeptical or cynical, but I find it really hard to believe that the head Marine guys really gave a shit about this until the video hit youtube and people went bonkers. They’re getting “unspecified ‘non-judicial punishment.'” Okay, that could be anything. Run a lap. Peel a bag of potatoes. Scrape my bunions. Eat this raw egg that’s been sitting in the sun for three days. Go service my hedgehog of a wife. Who the hell knows. I just feel that it’s being done because it would really hurt their image were they doing nothing. It’s like scolding a kid in front of the camera and then high-fiving him once the recording’s done. Again, I have no idea if this is the case, mere speculation is all.

And to finish, apparently people are sending the Marine, and his family, some pretty serious death threats. Threatening to burn down his house and things like that. Um, you people are certainly no better than he is. How dare you ride that high horse into this saloon and demand that he, or his innocent family, die for what he’s done. Yes, it’s fucked up. I totally acknowledge that. But I thought Exodus 21:23-27 went out of style with legitimate laws and structure. I think it’s pretty retarded that such an over-reaction should torture this guy’s poor family. I mean, maybe they all like to go out to the cliffs and toss a whole kennel, we don’t know that, but there’s a good chance that his family is feeling enough shame and disgust on their own without having it thrown in their faces and feeling unsafe. Way to be terrorists, people. Thanks.

So, this is all my opinion. Think what you want. I encourage it. That’s the whole point, really. Just don’t be throwing any puppies, yeah?

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~ by Cynik on June 12, 2008.

One Response to “What the fuck, America?”

  1. fuck yeah and amen

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