Theories: Conspiracy and Otherwise : lolcats = language?

I want to talk about a few theories of mine, mainly because this is the internet and I know there’s crazier shit out there than what’s in my head, so I don’t feel so bad airing it out here, as opposed to in a conversation with friends. I think though that ultimately this is going to be a bi-monthly thing for this blog, at least from my end.

Theories make the world an awesome place. Allow me to demonstrate. And show some blog love by supporting fellow bloggers.

Alien ancestors?

Note: Clicking the link would clue you into what Alien Ancestors is referring to, and that could spoil a certain movie for you. Also, I haven’t seen the movie myself so I’m going off what one of my friends said the premise was.

The moon landing was a hoax! CRAZY government HOAX!

Note: Excuse the random caps. This is actually a conspiracy theory I have yet to look into, but one which has always tickled me, and made me wonder. Also, this blog is all about conspiracies, so check it out if this is your bag.

Small Change

Note: I saw the video a few years ago on the incredible youtube. I may be a sucker, but they sold me.

And so on…and so forth. Our (humans) ability to examine, confirm, deny, suspect anything and everything that crosses our path is part of why we’re so damn awesome, and also why we are so horrible. Our powers of self- and other-evaluation truly make the world move. Point: Hey, do you think the middle east has weapons of mass destruction? Fast forward seven years later and the world is falling apart.

Now my theories are not exactly life-changing-earth-changing-shockers, but maybe some curious little geek out there will appreciate. I don’t have time nor the resources to sit around and examine the footage of incredible events, but I do listen to a lot of 80’s music, and I do enjoy lolcats.

Did I lose you?

Theory # 1: “Talk about the weather” when used in 80’s music lyrics is code for “have sex.” No. I’m not kidding.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you\'ve just been Rick Rolled.

Theory #2: Successful lolcats follow a strict phonology, morphology, etc. In other words, linguistically, lolcats may be a language with a set of rules just like English, or Ebonics.

R.I.P. Heath

Theory #3: If the government regulated the cars we drive, and made us all drive the exact same make, model, and color of car, there would be far fewer accidents on the road. Hive mind, people.

In the coming weeks I plan to pick apart these theories, and explain them so that maybe others will understand and I’ll be given the Nobel Geek Prize.

(Okay, I just realized there really needs to be a Nobel Geek Prize, for real.)

Coming soon: Lolcats! Language, or laziness?

*Credit for that brilliant diagram goes to tongodeon. The originator of that particular rendition of Serious Cat, we may never know.

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~ by Delgado on June 29, 2008.

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