Theories: Let’s talk about the weather

Math, theories, the physics of 80’s hair, makeup, and clothing, it all goes to together, right? So let me introduce this post to you in simple mathematics.

An 80’s music soaked upbringing + A ridiculous memory for lyrics (squared) = this crackpot theory.

I suppose you can blame my memory more than anything else for the way in which I’m about to forever ruin Erasure, R.E.M., and Tears for Fears for you. I see patterns when they emerge in either a single artist’s music, or a generation’s music. Certain bands use certain words with real commitment. For example, Train loves the word “atmosphere.” Listen to a few of their songs and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

But the first pattern I ever noticed was knee-deep in 80’s gloriousness, and that epiphany has stuck with me. I believe now is the time to enlighten the rest of the world. Prepare yourselves.

Exhibit A: Erasure. Chains of Love

Do you remember there was a time
When people on the street
Were walking hand in hand in hand
They used to talk about the weather
Making plans together, days would last forever

Exhibit B: R.E.M. Pop Song 89

Hello, I saw you, I know you, I knew you
I think I can remember your name...name
Hello I’m sorry, I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else

Should we talk about the weather? (Hi...hi, hi)
Should we talk about the government? (Hi...hi, hi, hi)

Exhibit C: Tears for Fears. Head Over Heels

I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather

Now, this is high-school level reading comprehension, people. These songs are about love and lovers and sex. I truly do not believe that these artists, when writing “talk about the weather” really meant “shoot the shit.” If you don’t believe me, listen to the songs and read the entirety of the lyrics, there can be no mistake that some significant undertone lives between those lines. And if that’s too much work for you, play the fortune cookie game. Every time you see “talk about the weather” in those lyrics up there, substitute “make sweet sweet love” for it in your head.

And I bet you this is just the tip of the iceberg. My 80’s knowledge may be good considering my upbringing, but it’s short of stellar. Truly the greatest amusement for me, concerning the 80’s, is Rick Astley. But he’s another post entirely. In my googling for fun 80’s pictures and other songs with “talk about the weather” lyrics that I might have missed out on, I came across an entire album called “Talk About The Weather” from Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, an 80’s UK band. I really don’t know much about them though so they are not officially included in my evidence for the secret 80’s horndog code. I’m just saying there’s probably more.

In conclusion, take this all with a hefty grain of rickroll, but don’t try to deny the facts.

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~ by Delgado on July 13, 2008.

One Response to “Theories: Let’s talk about the weather”

  1. After extensive research (I googled it!), I’ve come to the conclusion that people are twisted. There are 20 euphemisms for women masterbating and 450 (yes, I counted. shut up) euphemisms for men? I guess that means my conclusion is faulty — MEN are twisted. I found nothing regarding “talk about the weather” except clever little clips of cheerful weather bimbettes (there’s a country song title in there, I just know it). But I’ll bet you are right. Puts a whole new spin on Wayne Mahar’s weather deck, doesn’t it? 🙂

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